Red sinks

"In Waldenstrom's macroglobulinemia, abnormal plasma cells multiply out of control. They invade the bone marrow, lymph nodes, and spleen and produce excessive amounts of an antibody called IgM. Excess IgM in the blood causes hyperviscosity (thickening) of the blood."

Ever wondered what it might be like to have blood the consistency of strawberry jam? I exaggerate (obviously) but that is roughly the effect of having loads of IgM coursing through your veins. We all have it...it's part of the body's defence mechanism. Ig stands for Immunoglobulin (These types of cell are also known as antibodies) and there are many of them: IgA, IgD, IgE, IgG and IgM, with 4 IgG and 2 IgA subtypes. IgM just happens to be one whopping big molecule, by far the biggest of the antibodies, and when you have too much it starts clogging up the system. If left untreated it can cause heart failure and strokes. Just before I was diagnoised, when my IgM level was at it's highest I felt constantly sluggish and thick-headed. Every morning I woke up feeling hung over (even on days when I hadn't been drinking....honest) and went through my days with that "one step removed from reality" feeling you get when you've got a head cold...as if you're viewing the world through a fish tank.

Now here I am on the other side of plasmapheresis treatment (BIG needles aaarrgh) and my head is clear, like I've had a steam inhalation of peppermint and eucalyptus. But my blood is still thicker than it should be and that for me has one minor but irritating and unpleasant side effect. As the thick IgM molecules push their corpulent way through my smaller veins and capillaries they put them under enormous strain. The veins bulge and stretch and in some cases burst - either spontaneously or when agitated by something....like a toothbrush. Even with the gentlest of brushing, when I rinse and spit there's always a reddish brown tinge to the water. The red trickles between my teeth start almost immediately the brush has done it's first scrub and a smile at the mirror reveals a mouth that Count Dracula would be proud of. It's a daily reminder of the cancer within and an embarrassment that leads me to make sure no one's around when I'm cleaning my teeth. To have blood seeping from your gums is not a great way to start the day, and certainly slows you down as you wait for the flow to stop before you leave the bathroom. Originally I thought I must have gingivitis....how I wish it was.

I'm one of the lucky ones. For some this bleeding happens in their eyes and impairs their vision. For others it happens in the brain. What do I see looking into a red sink? If I'm feeling morbid (which is rare), my demise, a visual sign of the excess IgM that may ultimately get me. If I'm feeling cheerful (which is mostly) relief that so far hyperviscosity has been no more than an inconvenience.